I have been doing this for some time now and it has gotten me some incredible success. Thought I'd share…

Nonverbal openers are like a catapult that allow you to skip over initial (and often unnecessary) stages of an interaction. I like them for 3 reasons…

Effectiveness: They are useful for achieving comfort and attraction simultaneously and instantly
Powerful: They cause your interactions to be more powerful because you can move forward exponentially faster
Self-amusing: They entertain yourself and thus put you and her into a positive state before even speaking

In terms of actual results in your dating life, utilizing nonverbal openers when paired with solid game offers tangible and efficient results.

Ok, now onto it.

What is a Catalyst?

Definition:
1. Chemistry. a substance that causes or accelerates a chemical reaction
2. something that causes activity between two or more persons or forces
3. a person or thing that precipitates an event or change
4. a person whose talk, enthusiasm, or energy causes others to be more friendly, enthusiastic, or energetic.

Check.

Active Eye Contact (a pre-requisite)

Eye contact is inherent to nonverbal openers. If you can't make eye contact with a hottie you are attracted to, this will not work for you because she actually has to SEE you. I have to say first off that eye contact is the most under-utilized and under-appreciated aspect of being successful with women in the way it is currently being taught. Ultimately, active eye contact is what you should strive for, meaning that when you find a woman attractive you purposely look her dead in the eye before the approach, instinctively. However, a good start is to simply make more active eye contact throughout your day and when you are out socializing, and MOST importantly holding that eye contact. There was time when I was too shy to hold eye contact with a girl I was attracted to, or even just other people in general, and when I tried to I felt anxious for reasons I did not understand. I attempted to do the most logical thing to address this issue, "figure out" these reasons, and understand them as best as possible, and while this did keep me busy doing what I thought was "working on my game", unfortunately it did not result in any tangible progress. Reasons and excessive analysis are largely unimportant when compared to solutions, and the solution in this case was repetition. Eye contact is the most under-utilized and under-appreciated because it is the easiest to implement (and I say this knowing that implementation is the most difficult area to address) into your life and requires absolutely nothing more than you and the people you would normally encounter throughout your day without doing anything extra. If you want to see the effects of this, you can start by adopting the eye contact rule: WHENEVER your eyes meet a hottie, no matter where she is, or where you are, you open her, no exceptions. I do not recommend anything I have not tried myself, and this has been one of the most fun things I have ever tried. I have had to do things like suddenly stop my car, and run across multiple lanes of moving traffic just to get to the girl I wanted. So, now that I have said that utilizing active eye contact as a technique for meeting women is one of the simplest and most effective and powerful tools there is, let me get to the goods.

Nonverbal openers:

There is a multitude of different options for opening nonverbally, buy all have a common element "motion".

The motion has two parts: facial expression and gesture. Both can be used together or separately.

Here are a few suggestions:

Facial expressions:
-the overexcited smile
-the exaggerated wink
-shocked and surprised

Gestures:
-Handshake: self-explanatory.
-Stick your tongue out: ditto.
-Cheers: Toast glasses.
-Start Trek: Make the start trek sign with your hand and mouth the words "I come in peace". Always a classic.
-The Gay Wave: Extend your arm over your head and wave at her while flamboyantly mouthing the words "heeeeey"
-The Mere: Point at her excitedly for a few moments and then gesture a come hither motion, while mouthing the word "mere"
-The Tooth Brush: Make a motion as if you are brushing your teeth. This can be turned into a dance as well.
-Eating Out: Put your two fingers to your mouth in a v shape and stick out your tongue.

Facial expressions are key, ideally you should use them in some form with whatever gesture you chose, fittingly. Be loud, and fully expressive.

The most awesome thing with this is every element is completely customizable to your own unique personality. Make your gestures as mundane or perverse as you'd like, (with the understanding that, more absurd = more powerful). There is only 1 rule: it MUST amuse you.

The second part of nonverbal openers is speech. Yes, you must actually open your mouth and speak to your hottie of desire. Fortunately, if you have done part one correctly, you will already be in state, so part will be easy. Thing is, even if you aren't already feeling good IT DOESN'T MATTER. The fact that you have already started the interaction will give you momentum, plus she knows it is coming which takes the anxiety off the table in large part. If you are a novice (or not), you can start with "Hi, I'm xxx". Beginning the interaction with the focus on you in this way is ideal as it allows you to direct things to the most productive place possible.

Other suggestions:

"I saw you looking at me"
"Busted"
"You were eye fucking me, I totally caught you"
"I promise, I'm as stupid as I look"

The "how"
Do not get caught up trying to over-think these. Pick one and try it out, then repeat. If you adopt the eye contact rule, you will find that the "how" will quickly become largely unimportant, as you are already committed to the approach and there is not a questions of "if". (See "give me the manuel" example in Blueprint Decoded DVDs). Most of the greatest success I've experienced with this technique have come about completely improv style. One time I saw a hottie walk past me when I was entering a pizza place near my house, we made eye contact and I instinctively opened her with something of which I don't remember–what I do remember is that it amused me. I proceeded to buy a slice of pizza and while I did, she left. On my way out, I walked towards the Subway next door and saw her in the window eating. I ran up to the glass, pointed at her sandwich, and then pointed to my mouth, then went inside, and ran up to her with my mouth open, at which point she proceeded to put her sandwich in my mouth to take a bite. I remember thinking about how great this was going if she was sharing her food with me before we even had conversation. Turned out she lived just a few minutes from me and that night, I picked her up, drove her back to my place and gave her the tour. Thanks nonverbal openers!

Social Symposium is San Francisco's premier event series, created for the purpose of bringing together the Bay Area's socially-enlightened men and showcasing the world's best and most talented social, sexual, and relationship experts.

——————————————————————————————————————

Respect to the nearly 150 individuals who have attended and supported Social Symposium over the past 14 months. As our events grow, expect to see more new and exciting improvements aimed at giving you real tangible results in your dating life and beyond.

If you didn't make it or haven't attended Social Symposium yet, now is the right time as I am pleased to announce that San Francisco's own Erik C will be taking the stage this month and giving you some highly captivating and relevant topics. Not only has Erik consistently shown the Bay Area that he is incredibly skilled in the art of being successful with women, but he is also a close personal friend and someone I respect highly for his strength, determination, and commitment to giving value.

His talk will be focused on quick and heavy escalation and pulling, and will cover the following specifically:

-Opening with immediate escalation:
How this relates to kino, his personal escalation ladder, and specific concrete examples

-Going in for the kiss:
How to and what to look for, how to deal with her giving you the cheek, pulling away, or other resistance. Including live female demonstrations.

-How to deal with the friends and AMOGs:
What to do when working a quick escalation set and the friends swoop in. How to get in approval from the friends to leverage more attraction, and how to use them against one another to help escalate even more. Also how to deal with guys and how to use a tooling guy as a way to generate more attraction.

-Sexual BT:
After the make out, what to do to get a woman more aroused and getting her thinking of having sex with you that night. Including finding her turn-on spots, dirty, descriptive talk, and other ways to get her turned on and ready to be pulled.

-Pulling:
The different ways to get girls from the bar/club back to your house. Why to wait getting her number until the next morning, how to sell going back to your place, and best ways to deal with LMR (actually more about how to just not get it at all).

-Types of pulls, the breakdown of each type with specific examples, including…
     -Quick pulls: 5 minutes or less from opening.

     -Attraction pulling: Involving heavy BT spikes, and overriding her logic with attraction and sexual emotions.

     -Rapport pulling: How to connect with a woman on a deep level, and be very forward with your intentions.

EXTRAS:

-Mindset, frame, state control:
The most effective beliefs and attitudes, how this relates to framing, and ways of getting into state quickly and easily

-Making a ONS in to something more:
How to backload comfort, and demonstrate that you won't judge her for the one night stand, and how to use future projections to maintain the relationship.

Sat, 6/6/2009 @ 6pm, Fort Mason, building C

Note: Sign-ups are online only. If you have not signed up, you will be turned away at the door.
———————————————————————————-
About Erik C. in his own words…

"I wasn’t always a skilled in the art of meeting and attracting women. I was quite incompetent with it for most of my life.

When I was 16 years-old, I weighed about 260 lbs. At my worst, a few years later, I was close to 300 lbs and suicidally depressed.

I grew up in a very small town, and being “The Fat Kid” was pretty hard. The other kids picked on me a lot, and the only looks that I ever got from girls were contemptuous sneers. Because of all of this, I left high school with very, very low-self esteem and self-worth.

Over the next few years, I started to lose weight and get to a place where I was physically healthy again, but all of the years of being bullied and ostracized still weighted heavily on me. Despite having lost to close to 100 lbs by this point, I still felt like that fat kid inside, and I still struggled with looking at myself in the mirror and liking who was looking back at me.

As I started growing in to my own, I began to feel better about who I was and the path that I was taking in life–but there was still always this nagging question of women. By this point, I had kissed a few women, but it ended so poorly most of the time that the girl would never want to see me again. I was so nervous about my first kiss that the girl actually stopped and said, “Are you OK? Because you’re shaking a lot…” And this about summed up my experience with women.

For the longest time, I couldn’t even imagine a woman finding me attractive. From my experience with girls growing up, I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea that someone could really find me attractive and want to spend time with me.

Then something happened.

A friend of mine always knew that I was girl crazy, and he told me, “Hey, I read this book called ‘The Game’ it’s about how this nerd learns to pick-up artist and he become really successful with women, you should read it.

I went to the bookstore immediately and processed to consume the book in one sitting. I was floored, this was really a skill set that could be learned. Holy Sh*t…

I DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE!!!

And from here I was on the way up. I started approaching women and getting rejected time and time again. It hurt, I felt inadequate and like a loser, but I wanted this so fu*king bad, I didn’t care if I was rejected 3,000 times–I wanted this.

Slowly over the next year, I got better and better and started to build this skill set. And from here the rest of this was a lot a grueling, hard work and self-realizations. And that’s really about my story."
—

Erik has been a dating instructor for several years and has helped heaps of people get the dating lives that they desire. He has lead several workshops over the years, in addition to giving lectures and providing unparalleled personal coaching that has given his clients results that they never thought were possible.

Over the past three years has approached thousands of women and dated scores of those women. He has dated everything from 18-year old models to women that have PhD’s from ivy league schools and everything in between. Erik has also gotten similar results for the clients that he has worked with over the years.

Erik has worked as a professional dating coach for the past two years. He currently resides and works in San Francisco, CA.

Watch Erik C's video biography here:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1020885796753823983

Learn more about Erik C here:

http://social-freedom.com/

Reviews:

    "Where do I begin with Erik? As an instructor he is at the upper echelons in all the characteristics that makes a great instructor: the ability to see what is pertinent, the ability to teach, integrity and honesty, entertaining flashy high octane game, even subtle indirect game, targeting attractive women and barreling through. It is more than common sense and intelligence. He has a natural smooth knack for this and is a methodical tactician as well. I was a client of Erik's and I got more than my money’s worth. I feel like he was the right choice when I took the course with him."

    -Fate, San Francisco, CA

“Erik understands the frustration many of us have in our dealings with women: the frustration and the ego shocks when a woman ignores you in a bar or doesn't return your phone call. Erik understands because he's been there and overcome it, conquering his inner voice and ego to approach women literally anywhere — cafes, the park, a club, anywhere. Beyond his own skills which are undeniable and witnessed in field consistently by myself and many others, Erik truly cares deeply about wanting to see men have success in this most difficult of departments. He devotes himself fully as a coach and as a friend and will ensure that you get SO much more than your money's worth."

    -Jonathan H., San Francisco, CA

"Erik is the best I've ever seen.
I think what separates him from the rest is that he understands what the core of attraction really is. He cuts all the bullsh*t and that makes him very effective. It also makes him a great teacher since you learn only what is necessary and real. People learn quickly from him.
This style is very open, honest and direct, something that appeals to all people, not just women. He is very passionate about what he does and it shows. He has this uncanny ability to infect people with his enthusiasm. An all round great guy!"

    -E.R. San Francisco, CA

More reviews here: http://social-freedom.com/testimonials.html
———————————————————————————-
Sat, 6/6/2009 @ 6pm, Fort Mason, building C

Note: Sign-ups are online only. If you have not signed up, you will be turned away at the door.

This is the kino escalation method that I use. When I teach workshops, I teach guys this method so that they can initiate physical touch (kino) with a woman and escalate to making out.

—————————————–

A lot of schools seem to teach kino escalation as being sorta “sprinkle some on top” and you’re good to go.

Not quite.

I’ll often watch a guy have a great interaction where the girl is ready for him to go in for the kiss, and maybe take her home, if the guy does it correctly. However, the guy then awkwardly kinos, fails to escalate smoothly, and just like that he's finished. It’s like watching a guy walk right into a blowout or — maybe even worse — into the friend zone, and especially sad to see because it's so preventable. Follow this kino escalation method and you should be good to go.

This was made to lead from the opening to the first kiss.

There are 5 steps in the kino escalation method.  They correlate with how attracted the woman is and how well she is responding to what you are doing. Steps 1 and 2 are for attraction, 3 is for the vibing/rapport-entry stage, 4 is for rapport (mixed with some additional light attraction), and 5 is for seduction. You don’t always have to go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5; you can skip steps or even start around Step 3 if it’s a great direct set. Almost all stages have some attraction material, but CALIBRATE it, experiment with it, and see what works for you.

 

The Five Steps:

 

1. Kino the target as you would (and should) anyone in the group. Light elbow and shoulder touches and plenty of 'em. DO IT ASAP!!! The longer you wait, the more awkward it’s going to be later. Do this in conjunction with attraction material. Stand the same length away as you would with a guy, and make sure you’re not invading their psychological space (that comes later). Stand with your body at an angle to hers — in other words, don't directly face her — and keep your body language open. This is still friendly, non-threatening touching. She should be laughing and bantering with you.

Time: From the open

Body distance: as you would with a guy; not invading personal space yet

Body position: angled

Kino type: light elbow and shoulder touches

 

2. The set has hooked.  The group likes you and wants you to stay. Step a little closer and enter her personal space just a bit. A stranger would feel a bit uncomfortable with where you're at, but not too much. Keep your body somewhat angled to hers.  I’ll start doing play hugs now when I call her a brat or playfully bust on her for something. I’ll kino behind the back and probably on the hip. This is still in attraction phase.

Time: From hook point

Body distance: slightly invading personal space

Body position: still angled

Kino type: light back and hip touches, play hugs (plus kino from Step 1)

 

3. She likes you now and is attracted, but she wants to know more about you. Lighten up on the attraction. We are now in the "rapport" phase, where the two of you vibe, get to know each other, and develop a connection. Turn to face her instead of keeping your body angled. Step a bit closer and invade her psychological space; a stranger would step back from you. When you kino, it is more special and personal. Start "dragging" your kino: instead of quick touches, your hands will rest for a moment and then slide lightly and briefly down her arm, across her back, etc. I'll occasionally place both hands on her hips when I am saying something deep. Note that the psychological space invasion works partly to isolate the two of you from the group. This is how that “Bubble” is created where it is just you and her. Try to isolate physically at this point, if you like.

Time: from start of rapport

Body distance: invading personal space

Body position: facing her

Kino type: "drag" the kino from Steps 1 and 2; place hands on her hips during deep moments

 

4. Even closer now. Angle your body to hers again, but for a new reason: this lets you put your arm around her. You can leave your arm around her and your hand on her far hip. Your hips are probably touching at this point. The hand test (if you grab her hand then loosen your grip, she’ll hold on) should work here or even earlier, in Step 3. I’ll drop the pitch of my voice and slow my speech.  By whispering in her ear, I should get face to face kino. I can also kino her hips, stomach, etc with the arm I don't have around her. A sincere complement would be nice here too :). This is the step where she will start to kino you back, if she hasn't already, and leave her hands on you or drag them.

Time: partway through rapport (use calibration to see when increased intimacy is appropriate)

Body distance: invading personal space; usually touching hips

Body position: angled hip-to-hip, with your arm around her

Kino type: arm around her, hips touching, face-to-face kino while whispering; optionally kino hips, stomach with your free hand

 

5. This step is like Step 4, but now you should slip your hand behind her neck and play with her hair. Pull it a bit and rest your hand on her neck. If she lets you do this, she should be available to kiss. You should be able to get VERY close to her face, like an inch from it, and she won’t back away. Initiate the kiss however you like. I usually just lock eyes, slide one hand over her shoulder and behind her neck, and gently pull her in. Slow and steady; don’t force it. The only good thing from that stupid movie Hitch was the “90/10 rule:” go in only 90% of the distance for the kiss, and she should come in for the other 10% herself. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t want to kiss you… yet.

Time: when it's time to kiss

Body distance: invading personal space

Body position: whatever, just kiss her, you dummy

Kino type: slip hand behind neck, play with hair, kiss (using 90/10 rule)

 

BAM!!! Smoochy time. This whole process, all 5 steps, can take anywhere from five minutes to the whole night.  It depends on you and the type of game you're running.

—————————————–

So there it is, guys.  That's how I handle kino escalation, from the opener to the kiss. It seems complicated, but it’s really quite easy. Getting the hang of doing it smoothly only takes a few tries.

Remember, be BOLD and DARE YOURSELF!

-Erik (ec)