Everything she does is cute. This is a very productive frame for the attraction phase. I've said this before, but now I'm devoting a whole post to it.

My internal belief is that every girl wants me. Adopt that if you want, but it makes it easy for me to adopt another powerful frame that `Everything she does it cute.' (Even when it really isn't or meant to be.)

This is most useful when things aren't going well, or when you're getting tested.

Examples:

Her: You're an asshole
You: OMG You're so cute, you're like the mean girls in high school I was afraid to talk to.

Her: You're a player.
You: You're so cute, you're like pop-psychoanalyzing me! Are you a psychic?

(NOTE: you can keep the "You're so cute part" in your head. It doesn't actually have to be verbalized.)

Her: You've got no game.
You: You're gonna be my new game coach! Like how's my body language?

Her: (Throws wadded napkin at you)
You: It's just like junior high! This is so fun!

You get the picture. Lots of times your first reaction is that something she does is NOT cute, but take this new frame and treat her actions like they're cute.

There's a time when it's better to put her in her place and tell her the way things are going to be, but that's a more advanced skill IMO. Try this frame out and see how much better you open and engage sets.

Game on!

Wilder

QUESTION: I've stumbled across a couple of references to the "four magic questions" and haven't been able to find them online or in the archives. Does anybody know what they are?

Here they are. Original author unknown.

1. Imagine yourself in a white room everything is white — wall, ceiling, floor. Describe your experience.

2. What is your favorite color… describe it , what feeling does it have?
3. What is your favorite animal… Why? Describe it.
4. Imagine yourself near a large body of water… describe your experience? What do you do?

1. That is your perception of death and dying.

2. That is how you see yourself with these qualities that you answered to the question
3. (this one is very funny and always gets them a little blushed) this is how people see you with those qualities.
4. That is your view of sex, with the water etc. Now obviously you have to probe a little deeper when asking the questions so you can guide them into giving you the answers with enough depth to analyze it and give them a core in-depth answer.

Now because the first few questions are very fluffy and general it's easy to get it right and get them amazed at how accurate the answers are so by the time you get onto the sex one (no. 4), you have got a huge rapport.

They feel like you know them an a deeper level and the change in physiology, etc. is huge. So when you get to question 4 because you have been right for the last pacing statements about who they are as a person on a deep level and is reframed that they may be surprised and find out things about themselves that they didn't know themselves.

This opens the gate to be able to fill this last statement with leading assumptions instead of pacing and they will totally agree, and obviously this is where you take the opportunity to lay it on thick about their sexual belongings, desires, etc.

1. Imagine yourself in a white room. Everything is white — wall, ceiling, floor. Describe your experience.

   Her: Peace, calm, relaxed

2. What is you favorite color ..describe it. What feeling does it have.

   Her: Red, fiery, stands out, passionate

3. What is your favorite animal.. Why? Describe it.

   Her: Dolphin is smart, free, fun, cute.

4. Imagine yourself near a large body of water .. describe your experience?

   Her: What do you do? I jump in and swim

1. That is your perception of death and dying you feel at peace you feel calm & relaxed.

2. That is how you see yourself: passionate, fiery, you feel you stand out in the crowd.
3. People see you as free, smart cute, fun.
4. That is you view of sex, love, excitement, etc. When you are with that certain guy and you just know deep inside that this person knows you at a deeper and a much more intimate level.

   You just find yourself wanting to just let go to all the passion and excitement and the deep connection you can experience. Now, WITH ME, when I answered the questions I felt the same way….

Important: How you set this up makes all the difference. Take a look at the structure of the game and see if you can extract it and use it for a "new" game. You can get a lot of mileage out of it.

This is the original Evolution Phase Shift routine developed by Style, also known as Neil Strauss, author of The Game

1. I tell her that she smells good and ask what she is wearing. Then I lean in, brush her hair aside, and sniff her slowly, moving up Dkonstrukt-style from the shoulder to the ear. "Mmmm, that smells good. People don't pay enough attention to smell. But you'll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you."

2. "It's like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You'll notice how lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other's mane, right here." (Since I'm shaved bald, I'll add here, "This is what I miss the most about not having hair"; if you have hair, say, "This is one of my favorite things" or something to that effect.) Then  I run my hand up the back of her neck and grab a fistfull of hair and pull it, downwards. She says "mmmm…" And I say "see.

3. Then I talk about how the most sensitive places on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). "Any place where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of sensitive little nerve endings that release endomorphins . Then I take her arm, and I erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that crease where it bends). She usually gets the chills, and I have her ratify how good it feels.

[NOTE FOR THE LESS EXPERIENCED: If you don't know how to erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk of skin — not a little pinch! — and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own elbow first. Or on Mystery's. He loves it when students bite him during a workshop, especially when he is in a set.]

4. After, I say, "But do you know what the best thing in the world is?…A bite…right…here." And I point to the side of my neck. (Every now and then, I'll add, that "this has to do with the fact that it is where the jugular vein is most exposed, and since most sexual fantasies have to do with submission and vulnerability, it sends all the fantasy signals flying.) Then I'll expose my neck and say, "Bite me right here" as if I EXPECT her to do it. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn't, I just turn away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, "Bite me right here." Usually here she will.

5. Half the time, her bite is lame. If so, I correct her and say, "That's not how you bite. Come here." Then I give her a good bite on the neck and instruct her to "try again." This time, she ALWAYS does a great job.

6. Now you look her in the eye, smile micheviously/approvingly, and say, very slowly, "not bad." Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her eyes, and…yes…kiss!

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